Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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