You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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