My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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