Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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