you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize