Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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