You can't special order awesome
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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