This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize