Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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