my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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