First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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