hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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