Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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