You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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