D3 body, D1 cock
actually, I'm a sock model
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
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Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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