I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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