a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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