I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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