you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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