I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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