So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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