where am i from again
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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