OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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