dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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