Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
