Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
