I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
