dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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