I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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