hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
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I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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