We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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