I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize