Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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