PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and she was petting her beer can
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize