Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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