i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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