He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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