doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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