If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize