What a fucking waste of an outfit
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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