There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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