I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize