WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize