she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
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am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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