so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize