two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize