I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize