Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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