I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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