no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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