I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also, beer. Big fan.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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