I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
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